6. I run because it feeds my soul
Its been nine months since my last post and six months since my Great North Ultra. And I've not run a huge amount since then. Having now completed the big challenge for which I spent a significant amount of last year training, I've found myself feeling somewhat directionless with my running.
After running 126 miles, what do you do next? This year, life's been full with other things and I've not felt able to prioritise another stupidly long running challenge. I've not particularly fancied racing over shorter distances either, because I'm now a lot slower than I was two years ago (one of downsides of concentrating on ultras). But I'm a goal-oriented person. And without a clear goal, I've been running a lot less.
I've even found myself wondering 'why bother with running at all?'
The answer, or at least part of the answer, came to me earlier this week. I woke up early on Wednesday morning with a lot on my mind and somehow knew that I needed to run. I'd been reading a book about prayer (Pete Grieg's 'How to Pray') in which the author poses the question 'Where and when did you last feel close to God?' He goes on to suggest that the things which help us draw close to God are are often the activities that bring us most joy. "Time spent enjoying such pleasures", he writes, "is something my soul requires. I don't do these things just because they are nice but because they are necessary".
Reading this, I was reminded that running is one of the activities that feeds my soul. It's hard to put into words but I've experienced some really special moments out running over the years - times when I've felt overwhelmed by a feeling of immense gratitude and joy and I've not been able to stop myself repeatedly saying the word "thank you" out loud.
It doesn't happen all the time by any stretch of the imagination. But my early morning last Wednesday was one of the times it did. I deliberately didn't take my running watch because I didn't want to know how fast or slow I was going. I wanted to run for the sheer pleasure of it. And although I started heading out of the house in the direction I usually go, after a couple of minutes I decided to take a different route: Heading up Blake Street (one of the steepest residential streets in Sheffield), through Ruskin Park, up another hill and then down towards the Rivelin valley.
As I ran, memories came flooding back of the first time I'd run that route. Back in 2013, my friend Daniel was on a mission to get me back into running after a break of a few years and took me out on one of his favourite routes. I wasn't in great shape at the time and the hills nearly killed me. But somehow that tiring run seven years ago reignited my love of running and led onto many moments of joy and exhilaration over subsequent years.
There were several such moments last Wednesday: Catching a glimpse of the Damflask reservoir a few miles away and beyond that the edge of the Peak District. Hearing the sound of running water and bird song in the Rivelin valley. And a brief shared moment with a fox.
These experiences literally put a smile on my face.
They reminded me that I run because it's often one of the most joyful parts of my day. I run because it helps me rejoice. And as I rejoice, I believer I come closer to God.
After running 126 miles, what do you do next? This year, life's been full with other things and I've not felt able to prioritise another stupidly long running challenge. I've not particularly fancied racing over shorter distances either, because I'm now a lot slower than I was two years ago (one of downsides of concentrating on ultras). But I'm a goal-oriented person. And without a clear goal, I've been running a lot less.
I've even found myself wondering 'why bother with running at all?'
The answer, or at least part of the answer, came to me earlier this week. I woke up early on Wednesday morning with a lot on my mind and somehow knew that I needed to run. I'd been reading a book about prayer (Pete Grieg's 'How to Pray') in which the author poses the question 'Where and when did you last feel close to God?' He goes on to suggest that the things which help us draw close to God are are often the activities that bring us most joy. "Time spent enjoying such pleasures", he writes, "is something my soul requires. I don't do these things just because they are nice but because they are necessary".
Reading this, I was reminded that running is one of the activities that feeds my soul. It's hard to put into words but I've experienced some really special moments out running over the years - times when I've felt overwhelmed by a feeling of immense gratitude and joy and I've not been able to stop myself repeatedly saying the word "thank you" out loud.
It doesn't happen all the time by any stretch of the imagination. But my early morning last Wednesday was one of the times it did. I deliberately didn't take my running watch because I didn't want to know how fast or slow I was going. I wanted to run for the sheer pleasure of it. And although I started heading out of the house in the direction I usually go, after a couple of minutes I decided to take a different route: Heading up Blake Street (one of the steepest residential streets in Sheffield), through Ruskin Park, up another hill and then down towards the Rivelin valley.
As I ran, memories came flooding back of the first time I'd run that route. Back in 2013, my friend Daniel was on a mission to get me back into running after a break of a few years and took me out on one of his favourite routes. I wasn't in great shape at the time and the hills nearly killed me. But somehow that tiring run seven years ago reignited my love of running and led onto many moments of joy and exhilaration over subsequent years.
There were several such moments last Wednesday: Catching a glimpse of the Damflask reservoir a few miles away and beyond that the edge of the Peak District. Hearing the sound of running water and bird song in the Rivelin valley. And a brief shared moment with a fox.
These experiences literally put a smile on my face.
They reminded me that I run because it's often one of the most joyful parts of my day. I run because it helps me rejoice. And as I rejoice, I believer I come closer to God.
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